10 Ways to Cope With Heartache After a Breakup or Divorce

Heartache is something you move through, not something you “get over.”

Heartache is grief—and grief is a completely normal response to losing someone, a relationship, or the future you imagined. You may feel sadness, anger, confusion, loneliness, relief, or all of these at different times. There is no “right” way to grieve and no timeline you have to follow.

1. Let yourself actually grieve

You may be grieving the person, the relationship, the future you imagined, or the life you built together. Give yourself permission to feel sadness, anger, loneliness, or even relief without judging yourself.

For anger, visit Break Time Rage Room in Cleveland. Sometimes you need a safe, physical way to release some of what you’re carrying.

2. Stop re-opening the wound

Constantly checking their social media, rereading old messages, looking at photos, or searching for signs they miss you can keep you emotionally stuck. Give yourself permission to step away from those reminders.

3. Get out of the house

Movement and a change of scenery can help interrupt the emotional spiral. When you’re hurting, staying home can make it easy to isolate and get caught in your thoughts. Get outside, take a walk, grab a coffee, or simply go somewhere that feels different from your usual routine.

For nature lovers, try a hike through the Cleveland Metroparks.

4. Stay connected to people who love you

Heartache can make you want to isolate, but connection matters. Call a friend, grab dinner, see a concert, or laugh together over something completely unrelated to your breakup. You don’t have to talk about your heartache every time you spend time with someone.

5. Create small things to look forward to

When your relationship has been a big part of your life, the future can suddenly feel empty. Give yourself something small to anticipate—a new restaurant, a movie, a weekend trip, a workout class, or attending a comedy show (my favorite is Hilarities on East 4th). Small plans can help make tomorrow feel hopeful again.

6. Take care of your body

Heartache can affect your sleep, appetite, energy, and motivation. Try to give your body what it needs, even when you don’t feel like it. Eat nourishing meals, get enough rest, move your body, and spend some time outside.

7. Don’t romanticize the entire relationship

When you’re hurting, it’s easy to remember the best parts of a relationship while minimizing what wasn’t working. Try to look at the relationship as a whole—not just the moments you miss. Missing someone doesn’t necessarily mean the relationship was right for you.

8. Reconnect with yourself

After a relationship ends, it can be easy to lose touch with who you are outside of being someone’s partner. Revisit the things that make you feel like you—old interests, new experiences, friendships, goals, or simply discovering what you enjoy doing on your own.

9. Let yourself experience joy

You don’t have to feel completely healed before you’re allowed to enjoy your life. Visit the Cleveland Museum of Art, wander through Cleveland Botanical Garden, or watch the sunset at Edgewater Park.

10. Get support when you’re stuck

Heartache doesn’t always resolve on its own. Therapy can give you a place to process the loss, understand relationship patterns, rebuild your sense of self, and figure out what comes next.